Ever since Thumper turned one. (Bittersweet). I’ve been visiting a lot of my memories.
I LOVE who she is and who she is becoming.
I can’t really remember life before her, and I can’t imagine life without her. But what I do remember is how scared I was to have a second child.
I wasn’t afraid of the impending pregnancy weight gain, the food cravings, or aversions, or the eventual lack of sleep.
What I was afraid of was me.
Would the next baby be as “cool”? JBird is so dynamic and fun, I couldn’t imagine any other child being as great.
And the biggie -
Would I love a second child as much as I love JBird?
This one nagged at me. I couldn’t envision our lives with another child, life already felt so full. Would this mean I’d neglect the baby when it came? That I wouldn’t like it? Love it?
And,
what if I didn’t really like the new baby? Could this happen?
But I funny thing happened
the VERY MOMENT she was born. I swear my heart grew.
There was room in it that I wasn’t aware of and it was filled with absolute love for Thumper.
And as she grows, I find she is her own very interesting person, different from her big sister. And just as fun and dynamic.
I’m so glad we had a second a child.
Were you nervous about having another child? Are you nervous about having a second child?
Oh, I can so relate! I remember rocking my oldest a few days before my second was born, thinking he was still so much of a baby and what have I done??? And will I ever love a second as much.
Of course, YES. And the third, too. :)
I did worry about that. I had two to start with and wondered how in the world I could handle and give an appropriate amount of attention to a third. We eventually decided not to give it a go. Of course, that decision ultimately had more to do with my infertility than finding enough love to go around!
And I love the redesign! Everything looks great!
Thanks Amy, I love the design. Media Mom was fabulous to work with.
Attention is my big thing too, that’s one of the reasons why I’ll be stopping at 2 + a few other reasons… I’m not getting any younger and pregnancy is hard!
I was nervous about having my first, but then I had all three at the same time. Now I’m just nervous.
:) I’m more than sure you are doing fine.
I wasn’t nervous about that at all. I wasn’t nervous really. Then I found out I was having twins. That kind of blew my mind ;-)
I am so scared that this won’t happen to me, that my heart won’t grow. It had to expand so much already, because it was pretty small to start with. And Miss L was so awesome that just a little bit of love wouldn’t, couldn’t be enough.
Just last night I had a meltdown that Eric had to witness. I said “When I was pregnant with Eli I was all consumed with my pregnancy. It was all I thought about and I wanted him SO MUCH that it hurt. With this baby, I barely think about it and I don’t really care (at this point I start sobbing), in fact I’m not sure I want another baby at all, and that makes me feel awful. I am so scared because I love Eli SO much , and I don’t want to share that love” at this point I can’t even talk anymore because I’m just sobbing, snot running down my face. I KNOW that I will love this baby beyond words when it’s actually born, but right now I am really struggling…… : (
I am so nervous about having a 2nd child~not trying yet, but we have been talking about it a lot. K is the love of our life, she is so smart, beautiful, funny, caring and I can’t even imagine having another one and taking attention away from her! I always worry about loving another one just as much, I know I will, but I still worry.
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That’s how I felt. But don’t be scared, you’ll find you can love, just as strong, another baby.
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