And although you say no, you are just not 100% sure about your decision.
The idea of never being pregnant again (as tough as it was), or experiencing that awesome feeling of a newborn cuddle moments after birth, or the beautiful baby smell, kept me flip-flopping.
But finally I decided.
Two is enough, and I love what I have. I’m lucky to have what I have, and I enjoy what I have.
My decision wasn’t easy, and I thought long and hard. For me, it came down to a few things.
I’m not getting any younger, and at this point I’m considered “high-risk” because of my “advanced maternal age”. Pregnancy is hard on the body, growing a human takes a lot of work. My second pregnancy was tougher than the first. Not sure what would happen with a third.
I’m tired of being tired. Seriously. I was tired through Thumper’s pregnancy and felt bad that I didn’t have enough energy to keep up with JBird. We often skipped parks/play dates because I was simply too tired to go. And even now, a bad night (where one of the girls wakes up), can zap my energy and make me irritable and grumpy. I don’t want to be that way around the girls. I want to be able to keep up with them and do things with them. Many things.
I’m already split 50-50. Often at night, I go to bed with a niggling feeling. Did I give each girl enough time today? If I added another child to the mix, this feeling would be magnified. I already feel stretched and guilt seeps in if I am with one girl and not the other.
Cost. Yes, it was something to consider. I want to be able to comfortably provide for the girls, help them out with college so they don’t have huge debt upon graduation, and take them travelling.
it doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes let the idea of another float through my mind – but only for a second.
Now I just need to find a job as a 15-minute-max-baby-cuddler, and I’ll be set.
What made you stop, or keep going for more?