Every Birth Story Is Unique

Thumper turned one last week.

I think she likes cake.

And while we celebrated, I was a little sad. Okay, I cried at least once, maybe twice.
My baby is growing up, and I’ll miss the baby stage.

After her birthday, I started to think back to the day she was born and the day JBird was born.

Two very, very different days.

JBird was a schedule c-section. She was breech, butt first and jammed in my pelvis. No matter what we did to turn her,

Moxie Sticks,
Frozen Peas on her head,
Using gravity,
and visiting a chiropractor,
she wouldn’t budge. So a scheduled c-section was the safest and really, only alternative.

I couldn’t sleep the night before her c-section, I was going to become a Momma! And while her birth was very special, it was also different then I had imagined.

I felt disconnected, like I wasn’t really a part of the birth. I was a participant, but not the main participant. While I lay on the surgery table, being comforted by my husband,

things were happening around me, that I wasn’t in control of. The doctors and nurses went about their business, while I waited for them to pull JBird out.

And when she was born, they whisked her away for Apgar testing, measurements, etc.

I missed out on immediately loving my baby, having her placed on my chest, and welcoming her with a hug. And when they did bring her to meet me, no one told me for a good 10s she was there. :(

Despite the disconnection I felt I had with JBird’s birth, we are very connected, I just wish our beginning had been different.

Now with Thumper, I wanted, and was able to have, a VBAC.

I loved not knowing when she was going to come. And when she started to come, I was crazy, I was nuts, I was a mother in labor who knew it and declared “Consider this hospital room Vegas. Whatever happens in this room, stays in this room!”

With Thumper’s birth, I was the main particpant, the main player. I made the decisions and it felt good.

But the best part of her birth was the instant connection to Thumper. The very second she was born she was placed on my chest. I smelled her, kissed her, cuddled her.

Meeting her within seconds of her birth, was the best feeling in the world! And I often think about the moment she was born, the moment both girls were born. Both were incredible moments, both were distinct.

What is your birth story (s)?

Comments

  1. 1

    thefamilymath says

    I hoped for a med-free labor and birth. I went to the hospital after having contractions for about seven hours, when they were about 3-5 minutes apart. I was only at 3 cm, so they sent me home and told me to stay there as long as I could and try to get some rest.

    That was laughable. The doctor even prescribed something to help me sleep, but I would sleep for 3-5 minutes and then wake up with every contraction. I toughed it out at home until around noon the next day and finally told my husband to take me back to the hospital.

    When we got back I was barely at a 4 (and honestly, I think they fudged a bit to allow me to stay). I was having contractions that were almost 2 minutes long and about a minute apart, but they weren't strong enough to help me progress. My doctor broke my water — meconium EVERYWHERE. So I got hooked up to something to try to clear some of that out before the baby was born, which meant I had to stay in the bed.

    After a few hours of really long contractions that were really close together, I opted for an epidural and pitocin. I had only made it to 5 cm after 28 hours of labor, and I was miserable.

    I ended up having Noah four hours later. My doctor had warned that I might not get to hold him immediately because of all the meconium but that if he cried first thing that would be a good sign, and the nurse would probably put him on my chest.

    He was born at 9 p.m. on the dot, screaming for all he was worth. The first thing I said when he was born was, "He's crying!" I leaned forward as much as I could in anticipation of them giving him to me, but instead they whisked him away to a warming unit. Nurses surrounded him while I passed the placenta, and I had to ask if I could at least look at him.

    They sent him to the NICU, and I only got to hold him for about 30 seconds. No breast feeding. No real chance to bond. And this was after he'd scored a 10 on his Apgars. I still question this decision by the nurses, but I really didn't have any control over it.

    It turned out that he had an infection called villitis, which I also would find out later that week that I had, too. It most likely was because my due date was slightly off, and I was at least 2 weeks overdue.

    I was happy about most of the things that I had any amount of control over, but I really hope that next time I am able to labor for longer med-free (and possibly go all the way). And I really hope that I am able to bond skin-to-skin immediately.

  2. 2

    Carolyn says

    Thank you for sharing. Knowledge is power. The best thing I ever did was take a Labor Prep class, so I knew what options I had and what things I could challenge.

  3. 3

    Lindsay says

    The bit about J's birth really resonates with me. Jackson's birth was a total surprise. Long story short, a placental abruption mixed with his sideways position meant an emergency c-section at 36 weeks. I was under general anesthesia, so I had zero part in any of it. He had the cord around his neck and midsection twice, and his Apgars were horrendous – 2 and 5. He was immediately sent to the NICU, and I was sent to recovery, where I awoke in the worst pain of my life with half of Jonathan's family leaned over me. All I remember is a nurse requesting my "pain score." I would fade out with the input of morphine and then wake again a few minutes later. I don't remember being moved from recovery to my regular room. This all took place around 6PM. Around 11PM, I was cognizant enough to attempt to see my newborn son, who, at that point, had been in the NICU for hours without having met a single member of his family. Jonathan got to peek at him in a hallway as he was whisked by to the NICU, and that was it. At that time, the NICU was under renovation, so it was crammed and extremely noisy. Jonathan was wheeling me into Jackson's bay, and I got about three cribs from him when I got sick (I don't take anesthesia well). The nurses immediately took over and wheeled me right back out. So, I didn't get to see him that night. The next day, though, I got to meet him. It was never easy to get comfortable and bond with him in that tight, bright NICU, and he was there for 10 days. I was discharged after 4, and leaving him at the hospital was the hardest thing I've ever done. I pumped milk morning, noon, and night for a week and a half and drove the 30 minutes to the hospital multiple times a day to drop off milk and visit him. Then I had a major, major bleed at the NICU desk on the 9th day. All in all, it was a crapfest of an experience. :)

    With Liam, we scheduled a c-section due to the placental issues with Jackson. Fortunately, though, we didn't have a single problem. He was born at 39 weeks and was a sturdy 8+ lbs. I opted for the spinal block with that one, and I felt more involved but still had that disconnection that comes with c-sections. …but then we get back to the part about me not handling anesthesia well. I got really, really sick and was shivering uncontrollably (but wasn't cold at all) and had a high fever. I was given Phenergen for nausea, and it knocked me out. I just couldn't wake up. Sooooooo…although Liam was in the room, I was not an aware participant for about 24 hours.

    I'm very, very close to both my boys now, of course, but I wish both their births had worked out differently – particularly Jackson's.

    I will be having no more children. :)

  4. 5

    Jeanette says

    Isn’t amazing HOW different and beautiful each birth is and just how fast the time flies after they arrive? I went from having my eldest daughter via emergency c-section to a hospital vbac for the second to both my last two daughters being vbacs at home with midwives. Though each event was precious to me, the last two at home were the closest to what I wanted in my birth plan. :) There’s just no place like home for me.. that and I have 1 1/2 hour labours start to delivery, so not having to stress about making it TO the hospital is an extra bonus. :) Great post! Have a wonderful weekend.

  5. 14

    bonnie says

    that is so awesome that you got to have a vbac! I wanted to have one, but at the last minute was told I could not. it was a disappointment for sure. I’m having another baby and no I have no option but to get a csection. Of course I’m happy that my babies are healthy, but I would love to know what it is like to have a baby come out of me and be placed on my chest!
    bonnie recently posted..Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

      • 20

        Kimberly, The Fur Mom says

        I always recommend that when someone has young children, they get an adult dog who is good with children. When you go to a site like Petfinder.com, the listings will identify dogs that are great with children. And there are rescue groups who will work with you. The one we adopted our third dog from took into account our family structure, our two dogs, two cats, and our personalities and connected us with the absolute perfect puppy.

        Puppies are loads of work. An adult dog is already potty trained and has other training and it’s a great way to introduce your children to the responsibility of dog ownership and to teach them to respect dogs.

        Can you tell that I love dogs? LOL
        Kimberly, The Fur Mom recently posted..Dog Training Tips | Include Your Children When Training a PuppyMy Profile

  6. 22

    Alicia says

    Visiting from SITS…..Love the birthday pic with cake, what a cutie!!

    I have a little girl that just turned 2. I was on bedrest due to high blood pressure for about 2 1/2 months. I went to my appt 2 days before my due date and she hadn’t dropped, I wasn’t dilated, nothing at all….no signs of labor, not even any little contractions. My dr thought from the way K was sitting that she might be too big to fit thru my pelvis and that we might possible have to do a c-section. I went home convinced I would be pregnant forever! My due date I walked the mall and had Mexican food for dinner. I went home and before bed, I posted a pic of myself on fb of how huge I was and still no baby.

    15 minutes after midnight I woke up to a “pop”, my water had broken! I ran to the bathroom still not sure if it was my water or if I had wet my pants! I woke my husband up to let him know and then hung around the house for a couple of hours. Contractions started and I decided I better head on to the hospital to get checked out. I knew with my bp I would most likely need to be on magnesium and didn’t want to wait too long to start having all that monitored. We got to the hospital, I still wasn’t dilated or dropped down any and it took them a while to confirm for sure my water had broken. Once it was confirmed, they hooked me up to everything I needed and the fun began. The contractions came on strong AND we still didn’t have a name picked out, so we had to pick a boy and girl name out between contractions. Finally at 7 AM, I was ready for an epidural, of course, it was shift change so I had to wait a little bit. Once I got that, all was good!

    I don’t really remember a lot between getting the epidural and it being time to push. My mom showed up, I met the dr that was going to deliver~my ob wasn’t on call. Finally it came time to push, I had no concept of time, but found out later I pushed for 45 minutes. Basically once the dr said it was time to push then everything stopped and the baby wasn’t cooperating with coming out at that point. Finally, at 2:01 PM we heard the news “It’s a girl” He actually said it twice before it registered, we were convinced she was going to be a boy, just based on my feelings and that was everyone’s guess. I held her right away and my husband cut the cord. She was perfect! From water breaking to baby being born was almost right at 14 hours, which didn’t seem near that long to me.

    Afterwards, I was having problems with my bp spiking up and at one point the nurse said if it kept spiking she was going to have to send my visitors away. I was on magnesium for almost 24 hours after giving birth. I swelled up horribly from all the iv fluids. I was so swollen I couldn’t lift my feet on my own, I had to take my hands and pick up my foot to move it. I had flip flops to wear and couldn’t get my feet all the way in them. I never had swelling during pregnancy, probably due to being on bedrest and being on a salt restricted diet, but the swelling after was bad.

    All that being said, I will gladly do it all again when the time comes!
    Alicia recently posted..OutsideMy Profile

    • 23

      Carolyn says

      Oh thanks for sharing. I love hearing about birth stories. With my second, it was about 13 hours start to finish. I too lost track of time, who doesn’t?! We also didn’t have names, then chose them during labour, then once she was born, changed it :)
      Carolyn recently posted..Welcome to My WorldMy Profile

  7. 24

    Jamie H says

    Yes, every birth story is different!
    My first was induced at 37 weeks due to Pregnancy Induced Hypertension. I had multiple other issues while pregnant with her too. She was definitely welcome a few weeks early!
    My second was rough in the beginning but I flew through the rest no problem. She too was breech but I had a successful external version, went into labor on my due date, and she was born the day after.

    Visiting from SITS
    Jamie H recently posted..Rainy Day ActivitiesMy Profile

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